Learning, Breathing, Caring
Editor's note: Thank you for sharing your mental health journey and insightful thoughts.
Why is it important for you to share your story and experiences with mental health and illness?
As someone who is a Counsellor and Coach and also has struggled extensively with mental health. I want to bridge the gap (even a little bit) for people who are also struggling with mental health. I want to help people understand that their journey doesn't have to look or start a certain way. For me, it started with recognizing that I didn't want to live and experience the world the way I was. I went to counselling and we started with simple breathwork because talking about what I had been and was going through was too difficult. For others, breathwork might not be where it starts, and there are so many techniques out there online now to help us cope and thrive with mental health. If even one person is able to find the motivation to reach out or start learning how to cope with their own unique experience of mental health by reading this, then I say that it was more than worth it for that one person alone.
Today, I am a student. I’m a student of counselling and life coaching. I’m a student in Love and relationships. I’m a student of witchcraft. I’m a student of myself, my life, and my experiences. Learning has punctuated all aspects of my growth and recovery in mental wellness. Learning is what makes me a better sibling, partner, and fellow human. Through my learning, I know how to ask for support and help when I am struggling with mental health and wellness. I have learned about concepts of the collective human experience, of interconnected healing. That by healing myself and facilitating the healing and wellness of others, I contribute to the wellness of humanity, Earth, and the Universe. We all live, love, and learn together. When we experience pain, suffering, and anger together, we support each other and witness each other in our times of difficulty. I believe that support networks (friends, family, partners, coworkers etc.) are where we can best practice our new learnings in being human. In being kind, compassionate, loving, and respectful.
As a lifelong student, I think the day I stop learning will be the death of myself. Without learning, there would be stagnancy, and one only needs to look as far as their physical body to see that stagnancy is detrimental to our health. If we avoid exercising or feeding ourselves in the way that best suits us, we feel can feel sluggish and lethargic. If we stop sleeping or get inconsistent sleep, we feel the effects in the days that follow. In this same way, I find my mind and emotions will suffer when I stagnate. If I don’t feed my mind with things that interest me and further my learning in some respect, I get bored. I find myself searching for stimulation, and sometimes this goes in a downward spiral. I can start looking for stimulation in risky or harmful behaviours that cause conflict in my relationships. Ones that won’t serve the future I hope to create for myself. If I don’t let my emotions move through me by expressing them, I spiral into depression.
I’m not perfect and I never will be. There are continual ebbs and flows to my experience of mental wellness. Some phases of my life are rooted in stagnancy or fear, some are in growth and self-development, others are some blend of all of these things. Currently, I am choosing my growth and development, of healing from relational and sexual trauma on my own, with my partner, and with my counsellor. While I heal and grow, I am also supporting others through their healing and growth, because I don’t need to be perfect to help others. Instead, my experiences with trauma and challenges make me a better counsellor. While I can’t assume to know everything my clients are going through, or even if their experience of experiences like mine is similar, I can hold my responses to trauma and challenge as a frame of reference. I can look at my experience of recovery to facilitate my compassion for my clients.
To ensure I don’t bring my pain into my interactions with clients, I have to engage in regular, holistic, self-care. I lay the foundation with my physical needs. I dance, I run, I eat food that balances enjoyment and my wellness, I drink water, I take care of my hygiene. Next level up is my emotional needs. I spend time with people I care about and who are supportive of my growth. I let myself feel my feelings, I have a practice in breathwork and meditation, I have intimate, meaningful connections with friends and partners. For my cognitive needs, I listen to podcasts, I read books for pleasure and my career, I learn about things relevant to my career and witchcraft. I connect with my spiritual side through meditation, rituals in observance with the Earth and the Moon, I set goals and regularly evaluate my progress, I create art for myself and others. When I have the time and energy, I dedicate my time to LGBTQ2s+ advocacy and rights in my community. I talk about my experience as a non-binary queer trying to live a life in a world that isn’t always welcoming.
As I learn, I find that I grow, feel, support, heal, love, and take care of myself. And through it all, I remind myself that I am so much more than my struggles mental health. And through it all, I breathe. Breath is the foundation for connecting with all my emotions, my body, and my heart. If one thing I can suggest for others struggling with their journey navigating mental wellness and health is to take time each day just to focus on their breath and breath alone. Through it, one can learn so much about themselves through simple reflection with a breath.
- Maverick
Burnaby, BC, Canada
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